my date with an angel...
thea, canon digital rebel xti
The emotions that well up inside when looking at these photographs of Thea are the very same ones I felt in her presence for three days. Our exchanges were soft, nurturing, breezy, light, romantic, ethereal, moving and inspiring.
I left feeling more centered into my self, grounded and looking forward. We spent most of the time snuggled into our hotel room full of beautiful natural light and white sheets...without a second thought about needing to be out and about, exploring the cute little town we were in. We tapped into what we needed more and that was to relax and spill about our fertility journeys that we've walked together side by side and once we felt more clarity, helped one another to move forward into the other passions in our life.
I was introduced to Thea by the lovely Sarah, who knew we would naturally hit it off and resonate with one another as we both have had a rough road to conception. The pleasant surprise with our coming together was that we had so many other things in common and she is now a soul sister for life.
Her and I both have had some highly emotionally stuff going on within each of our journeys lately, so I think both of us were curious if my visit out there would be consumed with us shaking our fists to the sky and letting out the anger in a safe place. I myself felt a bit concerned that letting my anger out would put me back into a tale spin of grief but I knew I was supposed to be with her. So, we both took that vulnerable risk of knowing we'd be completely transparent with one another. That can be scary when you're in a space of just trying to stay above water.
What ended up happening was so beautiful that my heart swells to spilling over as I write this. Somehow our energy coming together was a constant swing of Yin and Yang. We had our moments of letting the anger out but we discovered so much clarity in our spillings that the anger wasn't so consuming and confusion didn't have a home anymore. It's like we helped one another pull out our most evolved selves. I felt stronger in her presence.
We ended up moving on and being each others life coaches about our creative business journeys, asking one another all those yummy questions;"What are you crazy wild passionate about. Which of all your talents makes you swoon like a giddy girl in love." In moments of business talk, sometimes emotions about our desire for a baby surfaced and we'd let those tears flow...falling into laughter...moving into business talk again. It was a flow that I felt comfortable with. No judgments. No expectations. No trying to fix the problem. Just feeling and dreaming and inspiring and letting go.
I think it was because of this major Zen fest, we were able to pull out these emotions in our photo shoots of one another. We spent an entire day dressing up, putting on make-up we'd never normally wear, while music softly played from the laptop and the ethereal light in our room guided us. Most of the photo shoot was quiet...where she would be laying there and rather than me have to tell her what to do, I would gently brush her forehead with my hand to tell her to relax her face and pull a little curl closer to her mouth. She did the same with me. A few of the photos she took are in my new banner and my new profile pic.
Later we took a drive along a snow covered highway and squealed in delight at how inspired we felt and how much we love our jobs and that it feels so damn good to be living a passion of ours. Aching for a baby is so very primal and huge but we helped one another to remember that there are other beautiful things birthing in our life and when we put our energies there...everything else makes more sense.
So, now I am home and full of ideas for my business that resonate so closely to my heart. My longing for a baby is still present but it doesn't feel consuming. The peaceful thoughts are soothing the not so peaceful ones. I am grateful for the magic that transpired with Thea and am comforted to know she feels the same.